Creepy.

Posted by Maane Simpas | Posted in | Posted on 12:52 PM

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That was one strange dream I had last night.


There was this person burning our phone line with calls we didn't want to take because we didn't know him. He kept calling anyway, saying he knew our family and that he needed our help. 


After a while, he showed up at our doorstep, scared and looked like he was running away from something. He had with him a yellow plastic bag which looked heavy. He told us to let him in because some guys were chasing after him.


The guy looked like a transvestite. He had perfectly shaped eyebrows and had red lipstick and light pink blush on his cheeks. He seemed like a woman, except for the sound of his voice. He also wore a tight white shirt, black skinny jeans, and black pointed shoes. He had long red-colored hair which he tied in a ponytail.


None of us in the house recognized him but sensing his need to get inside, we let him in. We asked what the hell was wrong with him, how he knew our family and who's chasing after him.


He laid the yellow plastic bag on top of the table, sat on the chair and began taking some things out of the bag. There was a little stainless pot, the one used for cooking rice, a lighter and a kerosene lamp. He then got up, went to the comfort room, and emptied the contents of the pot into the toilet bowl, poured the contents of the kerosene lamp and flicked the lighter, creating a huge fire.


He then began telling us a story.


"Remember your previous helper, Lenlen? I happened to have killed her. I didn't really mean to. I was out of my mind when I did it. It was an accident."


We all stared at him, our jaws dropped, mouths opened in shock and disbelief.


"That thing inside the pot, those were her bones. I kept it in my house for a while, didn't know what to do with it. The police has been trying to search for her. She's been lost for years. Something told me I should return her back to you. And I did."


We couldn't believe what this monster was trying to tell us. In shock, we had a hard time comprehending his story. He suddenly and hurriedly got out of the house and disappeared.


My brother tried to run after him but then, patrol cars suddenly came and searched the house. They saw the fire inside the comfort room, put it off and saw the charred bones. All of us were arrested then.


And then I woke up.

Empty Apartment.

Posted by Maane Simpas | Posted in | Posted on 9:20 AM

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I'm in your room, fixing things up. I know how particular you are with how you arrange your shirts, your CD's, your shoes, your books. Your mom doesn't really know that but I do. 


Last night, I laid on your bed. I smelled your pillows. Sadly, your scent ain't there anymore. I wished you would come and visit me. I slept semi-consciously, waiting for you to hug me from behind and kiss my hair just like how you used to when you'd find me asleep on the couch, waiting for you. But you never came. And at around 4 in the morning, I cried. 


I missed you so much Kiks, this apartment isn't as alive as when you were still around.

Secrets.

Posted by Maane Simpas | Posted in | Posted on 6:33 PM

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We talk in secret codes that don't really mean anything. And we seem to understand each other in ways no one ever can. "I love you's" aren't necessarily exchanged everyday. We both believe that the more you say it, the more it loses its meaning. That's how we communicate.


First Time.

Posted by Maane Simpas | Posted in | Posted on 3:17 PM

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This is a story about my little angel, Vincent Benjamin.

Vincent Benjamin was born premature (only 33 weeks) on August 26th, 2010 at the city's government hospital. The institution lacked the facilities to support and sustain his life. Thus, his parents decided to bring him to the hospital where I am currently working. 

Upon admission, the doctors found out that he had Esophageal Atresia, a case in which the child's esophagus doesn't connect with the stomach and ends up in a pouch. Also, he had Tracheo-Esophageal Fistula. A normal person's trachea (the breathing tube that connects the nose and mouth with the lungs) doesn't connect with his esophagus (the swallowing tube). With little Vincent Benjamin, these two tubes were connected so food or milk can get into the baby’s lungs when he swallows. This can cause breathing problems, aspiration, and even pneumonia. 

*The second photo labeled Type B shows how Vincent Benjamin's trachea and esophagus looked like.*


Admitted on September 3rd at our unit, he was intubated and put on a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) set up, a ventilation therapy in which compressed air, at a desired pressure, is delivered to the lungs through hoses and tubes to keep the airway open at all times. He was continuously ambu-bagged to deliver the required oxygen that his lungs needed.

Vincent Benjamin's parents were appraised that the child needed to undergo surgical intervention in order to correct his anatomical anomalies. However, given that he was premature, the surgery would be a high risk procedure for him. There were a lot of requirements that he needed to meet in able to forego with the surgery. He needed blood transfusions to get him ready to replace his blood losses during the proposed procedure. However, the available blood packs that his parents acquired were incompatible with his blood type. Also, the surgery was seldom performed and needed a specialized surgeon. His parents were undecided for weeks since they were not financially capable. 

The baby was also put on last resort antibiotics which caused his parents a fortune in able to complete for 2 weeks as prophylaxis for infections that he would very much likely acquire. Aside from that, he constantly needed medical supplies and equipment for procedures to be done. His parents provided these as much as possible, exhausting all means and ways just to keep him alive.

However, he started bleeding in his last week of life. Replacing the blood loss was impossible because of the consistent blood incompatibilities. At this time, his parents were appraised by the doctors again and they have come to accept the reality that the child's life was already too compromised to be able to survive. They have gradually accepted and expected that they will lose Vincent Benjamin anytime soon.

He was endorsed to me as my patient (without supervision anymore) 2 nights ago. He had sternal retractions and nasal flaring, signs that the oxygen levels introduced to him didn't meet his body's oxygen requirements anymore. He continuously bled internally as evidenced by fresh blood I have observed upon suctioning his secretions. Vincent Benjamin slowly deteriorated until he took his final breath, moved all of his limbs and opened his eyes for the last time on October 3rd at around 2:30 in the morning. Since his parents signed a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) form, refusing to give emergency drugs, chest compressions, or resuscitation in case of cardiac arrest, it was a peaceful death. His mother told him to just give up if he was already exhausted and so he did, after about 6 hours. We said goodbye and said a prayer for little Vincent Benjamin.

Why I wrote this little angel's story? He was the very first patient who died under my care and I know he is my angel from now on.

First times are memorable and unforgettable. This is why I am telling it now.

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These.

Posted by Maane Simpas | Posted in | Posted on 10:45 AM

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After so long, you came back in my dreams.
And you repeatedly told me...
"You are the one and I won't let you go again..."